Local Mafia Boss Attends Racketeering Masterclass Hosted by Proviso Dems

Local mafia boss, Luigi, was seen leaving with exuberance after attending the most recent Proviso Dems meeting.

The topic "Racketeering and You: Getting the most out of others" was a smash hit with local swindlers. The masterclass, led by Chris Welch, outlined strategies for executing with effectiveness. According to Welch, "The key is to have them buy into the concept of just voting for people we've "endorsed". We've done the research and we know better. Follow along, or else..."

Luigi, amazed at what the Proviso Dems have recently done with their endorsements for the April 2025 election, shared what he learned. "So yous charge $50 for a membership fee. Then yous guys use that money to pay for your own campaigns! You cover your ass by saying that the party endorsed. Freakin' geniuses, Albert Einsteins, I tell ya." 

Maywood Mayor Unveils Plans for Driving School

In a recent flurry of new business openings within the Village of Maywood, Mayor Booker revealed his plans for the newest business - a driving ed school.

Unsatisfied with the offerings at Proviso, the ambitious mayor is determined to trailblaze a new path forward. The mayor stated, "This new business will be a key part of our strategic roadmap for the village. We are all gas, no brakes at this point. The administration has shifted gears, dedicating all resources to this endeavor. We are focused on removing all roadblocks for success."

The new business aims to create a new driving style. "You've heard of defensive driving, but have you heard of Driving Uninterrupted and Invigorated, or D.U.I? Yeah, you'll learn that here."

More information can be found here

Elected officials gather at laudromat

Elected officials visited a laundromat in Melrose Park after attending a swanky soiree that raised a sizeable chunk of donations.

Mayor Harvey Dent said it was the place to not only clean your shirts, but your pockets as well.

Della Celebrates new Campaign HQ

This past weekend, Della was ecstatic about the new campaign headquarters at Gibsons. One of the founding members of the Chat-and-Chew Crew, Della was delighted to have access to a delectable culinary experience.

When asked what helped her settle on Gibsons, she simply stated that she's given "sandwiches and Mexican food, bleh! 🤢🤮" This is in reference to food given during the monthly board meetings.

When questioned about donating, Della mentioned two affordable options: Slate sponsor for $250 and Cooper sponsor at $500. She emphasized that Cooper is not a misspelling of Copper, as in the metal. Rather, you get to hang with Mr. Cooper while enjoying a satisfying meal.

She also reminisced about the one board meeting when Henderson "celebrated" board member appreciation day by purchasing Gibsons at a cost of over $500. When asked about the optics of such fine dining on the backs of constituents that cannot afford such a meal, her response showed indifference: "You'd change your mind once you have their medium-rare ribeyes."

Lights, camera, corruption! 📸

The Grammy's were awarded on Feb 2nd, 2025, but you'll find the best actors in this picture. The local politicians were gathered together to "discuss" coveted endorsements from the party 😉

Really?! Color me surprised since we already knew that the local mayors are in support of Della.

Did Crooker and Harvey Dent recuse themselves when they voted for their slates? Why would they go against themselves, right? 

Why go through the motions when the decisions were telegraphed a mile away. I mean Della and her crew went through the motions at the forum. Did you see their abysmal performance? Want to cut through Della's charade? Ask her what were the highlights of her 8 year tenure.

She may tell you that one highlight was squandering $90k on videographer services "to help promote the district through social media" essentially. In the fall of 2022, the board majority voted in favor of the contract with the Breaking Barriers group, a local videography company.

As the board documents claim, they would provide videos that promote or show Proviso D209 in a more favorable light. Furthermore, they would assist in building a videography program for the students. A win-win in the brilliant mind of James Henderson. For $90k, it should have yielded positive results. But, what do we have to show for it, except for Barrier Breakers being $90k wealthier? Thanks, Della, you really influenced the budget!